I took to Instagram Stories to ask what Wedding Wednesday post you’d like to see today, and let me just say… y’all absolutely came through. There were so many fabulous ideas, in fact, that I created an excel spreadsheet to keep track of them all!
One that warmed my heart, and was requested more than a few times, was this:
“How did you know Andrew was “the one?”
So today, I’d love to invite you to grab a cup of coffee, get cozy and read along. We all know by this point that I have a knack for getting a bit long-winded!
Andrew and I walking down the aisle after our best friends got married.
How I Knew Andrew Was “The One”
Let me start off by saying this… unlike the princess movies and, if we’re being honest, most of my favorite teenage fiction novels, I never really had a distinct “moment” where I thought to myself, “It’s him!”
Realizing Andrew was “the one” was more of a process, one that seemed to happen more through a steady chain of continual “me too!”s than one big, defining moment. Know what I mean?
As I look back on it all, there are a few “me too!”s in particular that sealed the deal. I think these will give you a pretty good idea of why I’ve decided I want to spend forever with this kid!
Me Too No. 1 // Faith
Andrew likes to tease me about bringing up faith during our very first conversation. Haha! :) Ever since I was a little girl, I have hoped, prayed, dreamed and at the end of the day knew that if I was ever going to marry someone, he would share the love I have for Jesus. Someone who could encourage me in that love, remind me of it, help me grow in it, and build a life centered on it.
My parents have modeled this so well, and as I’ve seen firsthand the joy a household has when it’s built on the Lord, I’ve known this is something I want for my future marriage and family too!
When Andrew and I met, it didn’t take us long to realize that our faith was “the point” of our lives. What was different about Andrew, though, was his humility with it. The way I saw him actively love others instead of just talking about it. The way we were able to talk about what we’ve struggled with and failed at in our walks instead of pretending to have it all together.
I noticed Andrew’s relationship with Jesus was genuine and sincere. It wasn’t showy, boastful, picture perfect or something he simply talked about in certain settings. He lived it.
Maybe you totally relate, or maybe faith isn’t anywhere on your radar and I sound like a crazy person. :) But either way, this was that one, non-negotiable piece that, the more I got to know, the more I loved. And the more I loved, the more I realized I didn’t want to live without.
And let me tell y’all, being on the same page about this from the get-go has been the sweetest thing. It’s been so fun to dream, chat, plan and pray about the future because, at the end of the day, we have the same objective. There’s no wondering, hoping or fighting about something we don’t match up on. And having that steady foundation has been the easiest, clearest, most important reason why I’ve realized he’s “the one!”
Me Too No. 2 // Fun
Now let’s be real, y’all. No matter how great the guy is and no matter how “on the same page” you are faith-wise (or regarding whatever is most important to you) if it doesn’t click, if you don’t have fun together, it’s not going to work. Or at least, it never would with me!
As silly as it may sound, Andrew and I just had so much fun together from the get-go. While we are pretty different in a lot of ways, we do share the same light-hearted, goofy personality that seems to make everything a bit more entertaining. :) And as we got to know one another, I realized that we genuinely enjoyed the same things, and both loved having fun in the same ways. This “me too” brought an ease to the relationship that I haven’t really experienced before!
For example, Andrew and I are both incredibly close with our families. Our good friends who set us up joke that that’s how they knew we’d be a perfect fit… Andrew and I would always be spending time with our families on college breaks instead of with our friends! (Homebodies, unite!) We both love being at home with our people… to us, that’s a perfect night!
Another “me too”? Our love for spending time out at the ranch. Leaving the city and getting out of town has always been my very favorite way to unwind and enjoy. Turns out, Andrew’s the same way! Our happiest weekends are spent relatively in the middle of nowhere with family, friends and slim-to-non-cell service. Just a couple of weeks ago we were laughing at the realization that if I hated “ranching it,” we would have never worked out! In fact, one of our favorite things to do together is to watch wildlife at the ranch. (Do I sound old and boring or what?) I’ll take a glass of wine and we will go sit and talk for hours as the sun goes down. Talk about my happy place!
These are just a couple of silly examples, but the list of ways we love having fun together is quite extensive. Things like cooking together, singing show tunes in the car (he’ll kill me for posting that), coffee on his parent’s front porch, watching football (Ok, I’m getting there), exploring new restaurants, fishing, going to church together, seeing new movies in theater, long walks, time with each other’s family, etc seem to always make it on our “agenda.” There are definitely ways in which we are different, and we will always have our own “things,” but it is the most simple yet biggest blessing to, by and large, have fun doing the same things. It makes spending time together so easy and so, you guessed it, fun!
Me Too No. 3 // Family
The saying goes that you don’t just marry the person, you marry the family, too! And one of the things that has me the most excited about marrying Andrew is becoming a part of his.
From what I’ve heard, it’s a pretty rare thing to genuinely both love the other’s family. That is something Andrew and I really lucked out on big time. I couldn’t adore his parents or siblings more, and from what I’ve seen and heard, he feels the same about my parents and sister! Since Andrew and I are each so close with our own families, it would be really hard to end up with someone who didn’t mesh with mine and vice versa.
The other aspect of family that resulted in a “me too” moment? How we were both raised. Our families instilled similar values and priorities in us, and this common ground has been the biggest blessing as we’ve solidified our relationship and have dreamed about starting our own.
The more I got to know and love his family, and the more I saw him do the same with mine, the more I realized how I couldn’t dream up a future family where he wasn’t in it.
Me Too No. 4 // Best Friend
I think it’s safe to say that these first three points have all been pretty objective. Almost like those “checklist” items that you write out about your future husband in 7th grade. (Anyone? Just me?) But the fourth way I “knew” slash know Andrew is “the one” is in the close friendship we’ve formed.
I used to roll my eyes every time I’d see the “I’m getting to marry my best friend!” caption, but I get it now. There’s something so special in not just being “in love” with someone, but in genuinely having them as your best friend… someone who is the same in the good times and in the bad, in the puppy love phase and the “you’re on my last nerve” moment. and who cares about you more than the optics of having a picture perfect relationship.
Andrew has become my best friend. As romantic as he can be (the kid knows how to plan a surprise, y’all), as sappy as I am, and as fun as it is to be in love and to plan a wedding, it’s that friendship that I’m looking forward to developing for a lifetime. It’s our friendship that won’t grow cold when the romance wears off, that friendship that won’t leave when it’s no longer butterflies and fun, and that friendship that, as simple as it sounds, says “I genuinely like you as a person.”
As I realized Andrew was my best friend in the world, and that friendship was the foundation of our relationship and not just butterflies, I realized he was “the one.”
Me Too No. 5 // Selflessness
Well y’all, I finished this post with four “Me Too”s that all started with an “F.” (Your girl loves a theme, what can I say.) But I’m adding this in last-minute because I couldn’t end without saying one thing.
Apart from how much fun we have together, how on-the-same-page we are in terms of faith and how much we love each other’s families, Andrew is one of the most selfless people I know. Y’all, he loves in a way that always puts himself second. And it’s not just with me, I’ve seen it in the way he loves his family and his friends as well.
Apart from any other quality I’ve ever seen in a guy, this is one that has been so obviously life-giving in our relationship. And it’s funny, because when I used to think of the qualities I’d want in a future spouse, it never really ended up on my list. (I’ll confess, that’s probably because “looks like Edward Cullen” and “is a famous country singer” were taking up too much room in my 7th grade diary.)
But noticing how selfless Andrew is has pushed me to see just how selfish I can really be. Andrew thinks of others, no matter who, before himself. And as I got to know and see that this quality is such a part of who he is, I started to realize that, selfishly, I wanted him for myself! :) Because when it comes to deciding to spend a lifetime with someone, a friend who puts other people first seems, quite simply, just about as good as it gets to me.
So y’all. There you have it! It didn’t all happen in one big, introspective moment. Realizing we were each other’s future was something that played out over time. But I will say…. I’ve never been so sure. And I am so thankful for the Lord’s timing, purpose and plan in it all along.
I remember a few years ago in the middle of a hard moment my mom saying to me “Kate, a relationship shouldn’t be constantly, endlessly hard. When it’s right, it should feel pretty easy.”
And with Andrew, it’s just easy. At the end of the day, it just fits. It works. It’s not dramatic or high/low 24/7. It’s a “you and me, no matter what” kinda feeling. As roll-your-eyes-worthy as it is to say, when you know, you know!
And here’s what I do know: The hard times will come as they do with everyone, along with plenty of moments where it certainly doesn’t feel like it’s working. But I am so excited to commit to Andrew for forever. To rejoice in the fun times, to work through the difficult, and to try to prioritize him every single day as we seek to follow the Lord as best we can.
Realizing that’s where my heart is at? That’s how I know Andrew is “the one!”
Love from Texas,
Kate
