Friends… here we are! A new year, a new coffee date. Wow. The fact that we’re already two weeks into 2017 seriously makes my head spin. Please tell me I’m not the only one! #slowdowneverything
For those of you who are new around here, “Coffee Date” posts are where I recap the latest happenings on Insta, followed by the latest happenings in my life! It’s a fun time to get real with y’all and catch up over what’s been really going on. So simply scroll below for all the details on my latest Instagrams, and then head to the end of this post for a life recap!
PULLOVER lauren james fuzzy pullover | JEANS jbrand maria jeans | BOOTS red hunter boots | SHIRT plaid button down
SHOES suede wedges
TANK soul cycle tank (sold out, similar linked) | LEGGINGS color block leggings
VEST faux shearling vest c/o | TOP maroon long sleeve blouse c/o | JEANS jbrand maria jeans c/o | BOOTS sam edelman tall boots | NECKLACE gold drop necklace c/o (sold out)
TOP outdoor voices crop top | LEGGINGS outdoor voices ankle leggings | SHOES nike tennis shoes
SCARF color block blanket scarf | TOP grey waffle knit top | JEANS distressed skinny jeans | BAG monogrammed barrington st. anne tote | SHOES white adidas sneakers | HAT tan felt hat
SHOES tan tassel booties
WRAP large checked blanket scarf | JEANS jbrand maria jeans | SHOES tan tassel booties | BELT tory burch reversible belt | TOP white long sleeve tee
SWEATER green bell sleeve sweater | SCARF tan red plaid blanket scarf | JEANS jbrand maria jeans | SHOES cowboy boots | EARRINGS gold hoop earrings
SWEATSHIRT pink draw string sweatshirt | LEGGINGS zella live in leggings | SHOES white addidas sneakers | BAG rebecca minkoff black crosssbody
TOP grey waffle knit top | SCARF color block blanket scarf | JEANS distressed skinny jeans | SHOES tan booties | NECKLACE starfish project necklace | BAG kate spade crossbody
SWEATSHIRT pink draw string sweatshirt | LEGGINGS zella live in leggings | SHOES white addidas sneakers | BAG rebecca minkoff black crosssbody
TOP white peplum sweatshirt | JEANS jbrand maria jeans | BOOTS red hunter boots | LIP COLOR heat wave
TOP beige cozy long sleeve tee | SCARF brown color block scarf | BEANIE pom pom beanie | JEANS jbrand maria jeans | BOOTS suede over the knee boots
COAT black puffer down coat (now 50% off) | SCARF burberry ombre scarf | LEGGINGS lululemon wunder under leggings | BOOTS pink hunter boots (old color, similar linked) | HAT black felt baseball cap (just $10) | BAG monogrammed barrington st. anne tote
COAT pink kate spade coat (on sale!) | SCARF large beige blanket scarf | SHIRT white long sleeve tee | JEANS black skinny jeans | SHOES sam edelman tall boots | BAG tory burch crossbody
SWEATER off the shoulder blush sweater
COAT beige wrap coat (comes in 5 colors!) | SCARF ombre burberry scarf | JEANS black skinny jeans | SHOES jeffrey campbell booties | BAG red tassel crossbody | EARRINGS pearl studs | LIP COLOR “it’s cherry” lip liner
TOP beige cozy long sleeve tee | SCARF brown color block scarf | BEANIE pom pom beanie | JEANS jbrand maria jeans
SHOES leopard flats
SHOES leopard flats | SHIRT white turtle neck | SKIRT white denim skirt | BAG chanel crossbody | LIP COLOR pigalle | EARRINGS gold hoop earrings | SCARF color block scarf
PULLOVER plaid vineyard vines shep shirt c/0 | HAT red vineyard vines baseball cap c/o | JEANS white skinny jeans
SHOES steve madden velvet platform heels (come in 3 colors!) | EARRINGS black tassel earrings | RING black statement ring (not online yet, similar linked)
TOP soulcycle uptown tank (available at the Dallas Uptown location) | LEGGINGS lululemon wunder under leggings | SPORTS BRA forever21 halter sports bra (old, similar linked) | SHOES adidas superstar sneakers
TOP red lace off the shoulder top | JEANS black j.crew skinny jeans | SHOES velvet platform heels
TOP pink turtleneck | JEANS white toothpick jeans | SHOES ugg slippers | PLANNER lara casey powersheets | MUG monogrammed mug
CARDIGAN ella moss fringe cardigan c/o | TOP splendid white tee c/o | JEANS black j.crew skinny jeans | BELT tory burch reversible belt | SHOES leopard loafers | EARRINGS pearl studs
COAT pink cupcakes & cashmere coat | TOP white mock turtleneck | SCARF grey white and pink scarf | JEANS white toothpick jeans | BOOTS suede slouch boots | BAG tory burch convertible crossbody
TOP off the shoulder pink sweater | JEANS white skinny jeans | SHOES marc fisher suede wedges | EARRINGS gold hoop earrings | LIP COLOR pink nouveau
SCARF pink oversized scarf | SWEATER pink turtleneck | SUNNIES black classic rayban aviators | BAG radley tassel satchel c/o | SHOES leopard loafers
SLEEP MASK bow sleep mask (pink sold out, available in black) | SWEATER oversized sleeves sweater (available in 14 colors)
TICKETS available here
TOP pink workout tank | LEGGINGS teal patterned leggings | JACKET pink and blue swing jacket | SHOES adidas superstar sneakers
TOP ruffle sleeve blouse | JEANS j.crew toothpick jeans | BOOTS suede slouch boots | BELT j.crew leather belt | BAG st. anne monogrammed tote c/o | SUNNIES black classic rayban aviators | EARRINGS lisi lerch earrings
the coffee date
Today’s coffee date is a slightly different one, as I’m using it to reflect on this past year of 2016 as a whole with y’all. And I’m going to go ahead and let you know that this is definitely one of my more personal (and lengthy) posts. We’re digging in a little deeper than the “highlight list” I put together last week! But my hope is that you walk away from todays catch up knowing more about me than you did before, and that if you’re wrestling with the unknown, you’re not the only one!
Looking back at 2016, I’m thankful for the fun year it was. Moving into my own apartment, forming new relationships, traveling more than I thought I’d get the chance to, getting plugged into a church community… all fun things that I’m so grateful for. But as I sit here and think about the overlying themes of the year, there’s one very honest word that really characterizes my 2016… “Martha.” I walked through the year as a Martha.
I sound like I’ve lost it right?
Let’s back it up a little. Back to senior year of college. (#hookem) Before graduation, I remember older girls advising me that the first few months out of school is a huge transition. I heard a lot of this sort of thing.. “Don’t worry, it’s hard but everyone’s in the same boat trying to figure it out!”
Ok! I’d smile and nod and think to myself, “First few months out is a hard transition. Check. I can handle a little transition”
And they were right! The first few months out of college was definitely a transition. But see, I was prepared! The “next step” was laid out for me and its name was “transition.” Everyone I knew would be walking through this transition too. We were “all be in the same boat,” right?
It turns out what I wasn’t prepared for was the following year, when things stopped being a transition and started to just be real life. Because when things settled out of transition into real life, I realized that for the first time, no one I knew was on the same page anymore.
Think about it this way. In school, there’s always the “next grade,” and you and everyone your age are moving on to that “next” at exactly the same time.
Nowadays, however, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Some friends have decided to stay in school, while others have moved across the world to pursue dreams. Some are still living at home, and others are getting engaged, walking down the aisle and starting families. No one is in the same boat anymore.
And I didn’t realize that was something that bothered me until I began reflecting on 2016, and noticed that I spent so much of the year feeling really unsettled. In fact, if you look back through my coffee dates in 2016, you’ll find a lot of this…
“I didn’t really feel like I got into a routine this month, but now that things are hopefully slowing down I can’t wait to get into a schedule again!”
Do you know what I’m now realizing about those phrases? They were all code for “Everything is up in the air right now and I don’t like it. What I want is for everything in my life to be settled and sure.”
No questions, no doubts, everything perfectly in its place. No more “Am I doing this life thing right?” moments and certainly no more meltdowns. I want to know the next ten steps of my life, along with corresponding dates and times and a detailed description for each thankyaverymuch.
I’m going to be honest with y’all. This past year I was subconsciously a slave to the idea that now that I’ve transitioned out of college, I need to have life figured out. I should have life figured out. I deserve to have life figured out.
And my guess is I’m not the only one. Maybe you’re in a place of the unknown… you don’t know what next year holds or if the city you live in now will be where you’ll want to live forever or if whoever you’re dating is “the one” or if your job is something you can happily commit the next few years to.
The list just seems to go on, doesn’t it?
Worry. Distraction. A total and complete Martha.
Take a second to read this story with me, pulled right out of Luke 10:38-42.
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Freeze. Look at Martha. Worry, distraction… is she starting to sound like someone you just read about? (Cough cough… me…) Mary decides to just sit and hang out with Jesus. She forgets the to-do list, the planning, the distractions. She focuses on what’s important. Martha? Different story. She’s so caught up with the things right in front of her that she misses the huge opportunity to just be still and be with the Lord.
Friends, I spent so much of 2016 as Martha. Worried and anxious and troubled about many things, when only one thing is important… my relationship with the One who holds my whole world in His hands. Every worry and every uncertainty I have all settle into peace when I realize He already has my life figured out, so I don’t have to. Instead, I get to rest in Him, trust Him.
So this year, this fresh, bright, shiny 2017, I’m taking a deep breath and I’m deciding to sit at the feet of Jesus. I’m choosing to combat the anxiety and trouble about silly things I don’t have figured out, and instead, grab ahold of rest, joy and thankfulness over right where the Lord has placed me. Right in the midst of the unknowns and questions this stage of life brings.
Hear me say this… “sitting at the feet of Jesus” can sound like a shallow, gimmicky phrase when you’re in the trenches grappling with what the future has in store. But take it from a girl who exhausted herself in the last 365 days trying to run around and figure it all out. There’s a lot more rest in sitting than in scurrying around. And there’s untold fulfillment in that sitting when it’s at the feet of the creator of the universe, who loves you more than you will ever know!
While I’m not lucky enough to know your story personally, I’d venture to guess there are areas in your life that are big question marks. Things you’re not sure of that seem to suck you into worry and distraction. As a girl who’s right there with you, here is my reminder to both of use to breathe.
Because something tells me a time is soon coming when we will not only have a routine, we will have a pretty set picture of what our life will look like for years to come. My challenge for us today is that we resolve together to count these years of the “unknown” as a blessing. To savor these moments and this time for the freedom and flexibility they actually bring!
Goodness, friends. I’ve spent the last two weeks in that mindset, and I can’t tell you how drastically different it looks from last year! So, here’s to 2017. A year of sitting in gratitude and rest in the midst of all the unknowns, and a year of looking a little less like Martha and a little more like Mary!
Love from Texas,
Kate
Such a beautiful post and reflection! You are going to have any amazing 2017 and thanks for taking us along with you.
xo elle // https://splashofpreppy.com
Girl. GIRL. Truth and conviction pours from this post. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It’s refreshing. I graduated from undergrad in May 2013 and now work full-time while in grad school full-time. I look at my friends who are, like you mentioned, getting married, starting families, and the world tells me I’m behind because I am NO WHERE CLOSE TO BEING THERE. And this is where jealousy sets in. I do not want to be jealous of dear friends on their new seasons of life. I want to celebrate these joys alongside them. But it’s hard. I’ve always been a “one step ahead” kind of person. And now feel behind. But the Lord says wait, so I wait. Some days patience comes rather easily, others painstakingly difficult. I came across this quote the other day and it resonated with me. “When God is in it, it flows. When the flesh is in it, it is forced. If He is in it, it is remarkable how approval will be granted, how a growing interest will percolate, and how the timing will fall right into place. It will come together almost in spite of you.” -Charles Swindell
So I wait for God and resist the flesh. I pray thy will be done and beg for patience.
Love this, Kate! I knew exactly what you meant when you aid you’ve been being a Martha because I feel that all too often. Can’t wait to see what 2017 holds!
http://www.mollyonthemoveblog.com
YES!!! I needed this. Although I am a couple years from graduation, I find I am struggling with the same issues. I love your quote, “A year of sitting in gratitude and rest in the midst of all the unknowns”. I’ll join you in celebrating the unknowns!
Kate-
Thank you for being so vulnerable! Talking about Mary and Martha really got me to thinking about how anxious I have been this past year and not just resting in Jesus and His presence!!! Thank you, keep doing what you do! I love reading your blog; it’s so fun to see someone my age rocking the blog world!!
Thank you for your words Kate! I love your post because it’s so very very true and I love your view toward gratitude for wherever you are – something I’m definitely adopting ;)
Well said Kate! I am an almost 30 year old mother of two and I am still searching for a routine and am well aware that the Mary in me needs to take over more often! This year I am also trying to trust in the Lord and have faith that he will guide me through the year according to his timing and plan! Happy New Year and best wishes!
Wow, this post really resonated with me! As someone who has know idea if they’ll want to stay in the city they’ve moved to for the next year, I’m really trying to be a Mary about the situation, not a Martha. Thank you so much for this! <3
Kate, I love this!!! I am such a Martha, honestly much more than I’m willing to admit. Thank you for this post. You are amazing!
This post was so real and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing. I love being able to be inspired not only by your outfits but by your faith as well. I’ve been following for awhile and I just wanted to let you know what fun it is to get to read blog posts like these. Best wishes heading into this new year!
I couldn’t relate more to that passage and SO appreciate you sharing this today! #beaMary #notaMartha
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
I can 100% relate. What you said about Martha and Mary really brought it home for me. I think I spent all of 2016 being “distracted.” Thank you for writing this post!
Figuring out what I am going to do with my life has always been so scary to me. I’m in my junior year of college and the weight of grad school is being held on my shoulders, along with internships, and getting good grades. I find myself asking myself questions like “what if I don’t get into grad school?” and “Do I even want to continue my schooling?” Transitions are always scary for me at least.
Kelsey | petiteinherpearls.blogspot.com
I love the suede wedges.
Amazing, I really needed this today! Following your blog for months now, it really looks like you have it all together. Glad to know everyone has those moments of being stressed about the unknown. To the year of being Mary’s! God bless xoxo
Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this very important time of your life with us. Your whole post truly resonated with me. I’ve been feeling this exact same way with graduation, and this is going to allow me to take the step I need to ease my mind about the “unknown” and follow His plan.
I needed this! I have been a Martha my whole life and I am thinking it is time to adopt the Mary mindset!
Kate,
Thank you so much for saying exactly how what I have been struggling with the past several months — What is the next step? The RIGHT step?
So much peace to be found in just taking things day by day, something I am still working on.
Blessings to you in 2017! :) <3
As I reflected on my 2016 in my blog post, I shared the story of Martha, too! It seems there’s a lot of us out there ;) Thank you for sharing your faith!
Wow! I have never commented on a blog post before. God led me to read this and to comment. Everything you have said in your post is exactly what I’m struggling with in my life right now. In a different way of course. I’m going through many uncertainties and I have really struggled today. I’m glad you are no longer being a “Martha.” I need to stop being one myself. You were a major blessing to me today! You are wise beyond your years. XOXO
Such a sweet post. Thank you for sharing. I’m a number more years post college graduation than you are, but around the same age, this was a very good lesson I learned. You’ll rarely have things figured out but the beauty is when you can embrace the uncertainty.
Kate thank you so much for this post. Having just graduated in December I can completely relate to everything you have just said; especially living in Dallas where life can be so crazy and hectic and you just want it all figured out! IIt is so refreshing to know that I am no alone and to hear your advice on how to be Mary and let all the answers come in time. This has helped me so much and thank you for continuing to inspire and connect with people!
I can identify completely with your post and a lot of the comments. I’ve always been the girl who knows what’s next in her life and now, with college coming to an end, I’ve found myself lost. I like a lot this quote from Gregory A. Schwitzer. It gives me hope and soothes my soul.
“Many Sunday lessons have been taught using this story which have cast Martha in a lesser position in terms of her faith. Yet there is another story of this great woman, Martha, which gives us a deeper view of her understanding and testimony. It happened when the Savior arrived to raise her brother, Lazarus, from the dead. On this occasion it was Martha whom we find going to Jesus “as soon as she heard” He was coming. As she meets Him, she says that she knows that “whatsoever [He would] ask of God, God [would] give [Him].”
Christ then shared with Martha the great doctrine of the resurrection, saying:
“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
“And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?”
She responded with her powerful testimony: “Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.”
How often has Martha been misjudged as being a person who cared more for the deeds of doing than for the Spirit? However, her testimony in the trial of her brother’s death clearly shows the depth of her understanding and faith.
Many a sister has often heard the first story and wondered if she were a Mary or a Martha, yet the truth lies in knowing the whole person and in using good judgment. By knowing more about Martha, we find she was actually a person of deep spiritual character who had a bold and daring testimony of the Savior’s mission and His divine power over life. A misjudgment of Martha may have caused us not to know the true nature of this wonderful woman.”
Kate, thank you for being so willing to open up and be honest about where you are personally! As a recent college grad we are in the same boat. I am a girl who likes a plan but I have recently been reminded that the uncomfortable seasons require trusting God with more than the daily “what should I eat for lunch?” kind of questions.
Glad to know I’m not alone! Thanks again for being so open to share!
Omygoodness. I so needed to hear that. Thank you for being so inspiring in your vulnerability! I hope you know how much your transparency is appreciated. Blessings and happy new years! Ps. I purchased a Lilly Pulitzer top because of your blog, and I LOVE it. ?
I’m a Martha?. Loved this post, needed to read this!!
Thank you for this post, Kate and speaking what God has put on your heart! This message is definitely what I needed to read. You are a blessing!
Kate, this was an absolutely perfect read for me today. It’s been 3 years since I graduated and I’ve been stuck in a rut for that long. I have so many friends who have graduated, gotten engaged/married, having children, moving across the country and world….and I’m just sitting here feeling like I’m not doing anything at all with my life. This really rang true for me and you’re so right that we all go down separate paths and it’s all so strange after being on the same path as so many for so long. You’re my absolute favorite blogger and I adore when you write pieces like this, I always resonate with your words. Thank you for this ❤️
This was such a thoughtful reflection/post! Thank you so much for sharing and for reminding me to be grateful for where I am right now! I’ve always found unknowns challenging so what you said really resonated with me.
Kate, I don’t have a lot to say because I’m not sure what to. But, thank you. I am leaving humbled, convicted, and encouraged. Prayers for your question marks right now as we each struggle through our own. I wish this comment could capture the speechless-ness/gratitude for the words you spoke. Thank you. Xoxox
Your style is so adorable and fun! It’s quite refreshing! And I can totally relate to you when you want to be settled and have a bit of control. I’m at the point in my life where I’m asking myself, “what now?” I’m just waiting for something to happen, not sure what yet, I guess I’ll give it to God and see where He takes me. Thank you for this post, I really needed it. xo
McKenzie | maybemckenzie.com
Kate-you perfectly captured the post grad, young to mid 20s feeling in this post. I have said the exact same thing about no longer starting a new grade with my peers and how it makes you feel unbalanced. I recently started a book, 20 Something, 20 Everything, and although I am only a few pages in, the author really helps us young women realize that this unsettled path we are on is normal and how to embrace it! xox
Thank you for such an open and honest coffee date! I read this over my morning coffee at my first big girl job and WOW! I couldn’t agree more. I am approaching one year as a post-grad this May. There’s no way to prepare for the transition to the real world, and as an ultra-planner, it gives me so much anxiety knowing that nothing is laid out anymore. God’s plans are much greater than ours. I am SO relieved to hear I’m not the only one. I hope you will share more of your post-grad journey with us! I’d love more posts about adult life.
Love this! My favorite post by you so far.
I can definitely remember all the transitions the first year (or two) out of college. From moving to a completely new place where I knew NO ONE, to starting a career and breaking off a long-term relationship… It was a crazy time.
Focusing on the now and living… that’s where we need to be.
Your honesty about this is such an encouragement, Kate! Especially because you pointed right to the Lord. Such a refreshment! :)
This post was everything! Wow, such strong and encouraging words. Definitely my mantra this year to be more of Mary and less of Martha. thank you for sharing this and bringing us into a vulnerable place that we all have been in at point or another. xo
Shelby
The Memphis Jewel
Kate,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I know that I was supposed to read this tonight. I feel like God wanted me to see this. This spoke directly to my heart. You have blessed me and this was so important for me to realize at the start of 2017. Long story short, I am a senior in college and I have so much uncertainty ahead of me. What a wonderful reminder to trust in our savior and sit at his feet. I will strive to be more like Mary in this new year. I wish you nothing but the best of everything in the new year to come.
Your style is absolutely adorable!! By the way, I love the way you write. :)
http://www.simplynancyblog.com
Love your coffee date posts! Your Instagrams are so pretty and I love the message of being more like Mary and less like Martha, so important especially with so many unknowns in life!
xoxo,
Katie
chicincarolina.blogspot.com
Phew!
Honestly, I was just sitting here procrastinating all the things I “have” to worry about. College midterms, law school applications, planning a wedding, graduating school, etc.
It’s crazy how God can speak to you through others when you are least expecting Him to. This post hit the nail on the head.
Worry is not of God and I so often forget that.
I don’t want to be Martha!
-Ashley
Wow, I am SO glad I stumbled upon this post. As someone who graduated from college last May (Woo Pig!), trying to get my blog going, adjusting to do the “adult life,” etc. I am still in the transition phase, and boy can it be tough! I’ve always wanted to have a blog be my full time career, but I know it’s something that will take an incredible amount of work! When reading your post, I kept thinking to myself that I felt as if I was reading my own story.
Thank you, Kate, for the insight and the sweet reminder. Reading this post was exactly what I needed! This is definitely something I need to do – savor these moments trusting in Him and His perfect plan for us!
P.S. I am a Kappa, live in Dallas and also studied public relations :)
I just started reading your blog and randomly stumbled upon this old post! I recently graduated college and moved to Dallas from Louisiana so this post really hit home for me. Thanks for being to honest and transparent!