Helloooooo world! My name is Flynn and I am a 7.5 month old Miniature Schnauzer. I am fluffy, adorable, sweet, spunky, have a fantastic singing voice, really great puppy breath and am really, really, really, really, really excited to for my first Q&A! (That stands for “questions and answers” by the way.)
My mom said I could only do one post but I’m going to call this “Five Questions with Flynn” and hopefully you will all love it as much as you love me and I can do more and more.
Thanks to everyone who gives me compliments and virtual pets, and to everyone who sent in questions for me to answer! Here are the five questions I, the fluffiest of Flynns, will answer today!
artwork by @clfollis
five questions with flynn
1. What does your daily quarantine routine consist of?
Busy, busy, busy! Sometimes I feel like my parents would be total losers if I wasn’t here to keep this house running like a well-oiled machine. Here’s a look at how I make it happen:
6:30 am // I don’t get it. Mom and Dad take so long to get out of bed. Don’t they know there is breakfast to be eaten, places to go potty on and people to sniff?! My current strategy is to sit up on my mom’s pillow, as close as possible to her face, right at 6:30am. (Picture below.) It gives me a great vantage point to just stare down at her. If she doesn’t startle awake immediately, I like to employ a well-placed paw-to-the-face. I keep this up in quick succession until she’s up. (Highly recommend this one, it’s incredibly effective!) If for whatever reason she’s being especially lazy, I move on and repeat the same routine with my Dad. I also have a really pretty morning song I sing for them that comes from a very guttural place in my chest.
7:00 am // Run outside to potty, come in to scarf down breakfast, then run back outside for a longer, more luxurious potty experience. That second potty is one of my favorite parts of the day, and if my mom doesn’t take me the second I finish eating, I remind her how important it is to me by taking my business to a discreet corner of the living room. That always gets her. :)
7:30 am // Nap number one. This is what I really don’t understand. It’s essential to get up right away so you can nap right away, right? My mom doesn’t go back to sleep like I do, and I think she’s seriously missing out.
8:30 am // This is always when my mom goes to the dark scary room I’m not allowed in and fights a big black monster she and Dad call “The Peloton.” I always wait right outside of the door in case she needs my help, but after about forty-five minutes she walks back in very sweaty and happy… which I guess means she won the fight. I get lots of yummy sweat licks from this.
9:00 am // Nap number two!
11:00 am // LUNCH TIME! Lunch time lunch time LUNCH TIME! I bet my mom would forget about lunch if it wasn’t for my prompt reminder at 10:58am each day. I have a lunch song I sing, much like my good morning song, and I think she loves it.
11:30 am // LIZARD HUNT! This is like the best part of the day. My mom and I go outside and chase all of the lizards and there are so many and it’s so fun! They are so afraid of me!
12:00 pm // Do you know how exhausting lizard hunting is? Nap number three.
3:00 pm // To keep my blood flowing and hone my lizard-hunting skills, I like to trot over to my toy box and select a specific toy to work with and show whose boss. Once I finish with a toy, I leave it out in the living room and select another. The most fun game is when mom puts the toys back in the box… I grab them all as fast as I can and scatter them back around the living room!
5:00 pm // DAD COMES HOME! Oh my gosh it’s the best I miss him so much during the day and then he walks in the door and I’m like “DAD DAD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH WANNA PLAY WANNA GO ON A WALK I WOULD LOVE TO JUMP ON YOU IF THAT’S OK AND THEN WE CAN HAVE DINNER!”
5:05 pm // Dinner!!!
5:30 pm // This is when I go on my evening lizard hunt and I show my dad how good I did with my mom and scare so many lizards! I’ll have you know that walking with two humans is a big responsibility and I like to stay right in between them to protect them.
6:30 pm // Nap number four, naturally! This is my pre-bedtime nap and I take it seriously. This is my favorite nap of all because I get to snuggle with my mom and dad when they sit on the couch!
10:30 pm // Bedtime! I like to switch things up every few weeks with my sleeping routine. I used to burrow under the covers and sleep down by my parents’ feet, but now I love laying on their pillows right next to their heads. Personal space is not a thing for me and I feel like that’s one of my best qualities.
As you can see, my day is crazy busy and honestly I think it’s all about time management. Be sure you’re getting your naps in. Be sure you’re getting fed exactly at 7am, 11am and 5pm. Be sure you’re as cute as me, and you’ll be fine!
2. How do you like your crate?
Oh, you mean my “clubhouse” as Mom and Dad like to call it to try to trick me into thinking it’s a fun, good place?
I HATE IT!
Ok you know what, at night it’s not that bad. It’s just like… my love language is physical touch so why on earth would my parents want to take that from me?! We’ve had this conversation multiple times when they’ve put me in it in the past. Luckily, my dad is AWESOME and talked my mom into letting me sleep in the big bed at night so now I really only have to go in my “clubhouse” when my mom leaves the house and then I make sure to tell all my neighbors that I’m trapped in it and to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME OUT!!! until mom comes home and saves me.
Have I mentioned I hate it?
3. How big will you be when you’re full grown?
Personally? Wouldn’t be surprised if I grow to be prettyyyyy big. Trust me… you can’t believe everything “breed standards” tell you. (Like “Miniature” Schnauzer? Psh, give me a break.) I’m thinking somewhere between 120/150 lbs but my mom seems to think I’m “nearly full grown.” I’LL SHOW HER!
4. What names do your parents call you?
Oh my goshhhhhhh they are so embarrassing.
Flynny-foo. Flynnstagram. Pickle. Flynnster. Flynnister. Schnoodle. Flynn-stice. Flinnibus. Stinky Schnauzer. Otter slayer. Flynn boy.
And finally… mom calls me “mi petit schnauzér” in what she thinks is a French accent. Like I said… embarrasssinggggg.
5. How would you describe your style?
Debonaire. But relaxed. Simple sophistication.
I’m definitely a “less is more” kinda guy, For your typical day-to-day look, I love a good au natural moment. (Like honestly who doesn’t am I right?!) But, it should be noted that I have a distinctive eye for luxury. It all started with a fabulous bow tie my aunt purchased for me. James Bond vibes in a major way especially given the contrast with my fluffy white chest.
Oh! And my parents brought me back a fabulous faux-fur linked kimono from Epcot that, let me tell you, is utter perfection. I love throwing it on for a cozy evening in when I’m wanting to wind down in true sophistication. A bit extra? Perhaps for someone who doesn’t enjoy true elegance. I keep telling my parents I need a pair of smoking slippers to really complete the look.
And not to get too carried away, but I love a good theme. I have a fabulous Christmas sweater with matching beanie that is merry to the max. (And ermergerd the puffy ball on top is so fun to chew!)
Thank you very very much for reading my first ever blog post! I would love to hear how your furry friends would answer the questions above. Please submit them in the comments below so we can be pen paw pals!
Love from my fluffy bed,
P.S. I don’t spend a ton of time on my Instagram because I’m really trying to lower my screen time but if you want to you can follow me HERE!